What does it mean for a romance heroine to be powerful?
On gender roles, Cinderella stories, and so many thoughts I'm still sorting through
Today’s newsletter springs from something I wrote off the cuff last week, namely how much I yearned for a contemporary m/f romance where the heroine is a successful athlete and the hero is totally unathletic. Then I started thinking about this a bit more and realized that I could only think of a handful of romances where both the hero and heroine are athletes and most of the titles I could think of were either YA or set in college. Then my brain kept on whirring as I tried to remember any romances I’ve read where the heroine is unquestionably more powerful—richer, more successful, more famous, take your pick—than the hero. I could only think of a handful, like Jasmine Guillory’s While We Were Dating, where Anna is a movie star and Ben works in advertising, or Chloe Angyal’s Pas de Don’t, where Heather, as a star dancer with the ability to draw in audiences, has more political capital in the ballet world than Marcus.
Of course, I could think of plenty of romances where the power dynamic is relatively even between the hero and heroine. But, particularly when it comes to novels that deal with obvious markers of status like fame and money, the hero is almost inevitably the more traditionally powerful one. He’s the A-list movie star, the billionaire, the star athlete, the duke, the ruthless industrialist. She’s the small-town florist, the overworked office drone, the single mom, the wallflower. Where she is powerful, it often seems to be an emotional power, stemming from her influence over the hero and her ability to bring this man to his knees both literally and figuratively. This is especially prevalent in historical romance, which loves a scandalous rake finally changing his ways for the right woman. I’m certainly not denying the impact of soft power or of the emotional intelligence that romance heroines often bring to their partnerships. I get the appeal of a Cinderella story, of the heroine being swept off her feet and identified as special even at her most ordinary. But there’s also something that I find a little unsatisfying about that.
What does it take for a woman to climb to the top of her chosen profession? What kind of man would be comfortable having a partner who’s undeniably more successful than him? How does that shape the kind of relationship they build? And, in a slightly different but parallel vein, what does a romance novel where the hero is a lot more emotionally fluent than the heroine look like? I’m longing for more romance that flips gender roles and defies readers’ expectations. (Please, someone give us a female hotshot soccer star or tennis phenom romance or I will be forced to write one myself and I know embarrassingly little about either sport.) I love celebrity romance but I also have to admit that I’m getting a little tired of the “why does this heartthrob want me?!” dynamic that tends to pop up. I’m curious to see what a romance looks like when the heroine knows she’s extraordinary from the start and when she does the choosing instead of being chosen.
I’ve been reading mostly queer romance this past month and one thing I’ve really been enjoying is how much more fluid the power dynamics between the central couples often are. It’s a give-and-take, a delicate dance where both partners have the opportunity to lead and to follow, to make mistakes and to make up for them. Maybe what I’m hoping for is a bit more queering of straight romance, a bit more complexity in exploring how celebrity and status can shape a romantic relationship, and, most of all, a bit more playfulness when it comes to gender roles and who gets to be in the power position.
Let me know your favorite romances that flip traditional gender dynamics in the comments!
Currently reading: Network Effect by Martha Wells, which is the fifth installment and first full-length novel in the Murderbot Diaries. This series is very much not my typical fare but I’m so into it?
Recommendations, miscellany, and little bits of joy:
One of my friends crotched me a tiny fox for my birthday, which is currently sitting in pride of place on my bookshelf and bringing me a little zing of happiness every time I look at it.
The new tiny spinach and ricotta ravioli from Trader Joe’s, which are somehow twice as appealing to me as regular ravioli, much like mini pretzels? Miniaturize more food, I say.
This delightful poplin skirt from Boden, which feels breezy yet polished and is currently on sale (!). Boden is also currently doing a big sale in case you’re in need of a jersey dress, work-appropriate yet cheerful button down, colorful swimsuit, or summery linen.
I did not expect this to be so hard, but I found a few in my recent Goodreads list:
- One Last Shot, by Betty Cayouette: she's a famous supermodel; he's a successful but not-famous photographer.
- Just Like You, by Nick Hornby: not exactly romance but she's more educated and wealthier
- Match Me If You Can, by Swati Hegde: an Emma retelling, but he's broke and in love while she's rich and aloof.
What a FUN assignment!
How how about these for powerful women - I haven’t read them in years but I think they fit!
The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai (dating apps! Tech world)
Grin and Beard It by Penny Reid (female movie star + male park ranger)
The Boyfriend Project by Farrah Rochon (tech scene)
Cherish Hard by Nalini Singh (corporate VP and landscaper)
A Thorn in the Saddle by Rebekah Weatherspoon (politician and consultant)
But HERE is your professional female soccer player book I forgot about last time! Yes the guy is rich and she needs his help, but she’s the athlete and he’s not.
Scoring a Spouse by Liz Lincoln - the first in the Milwaukee Wolfpack series!