The state of the contemporary romance hero

And the tensions of transitions

Lately, I’ve been noticing something about many of the heroes of contemporary romance novels. They’re rich but in an ethical way. They’re ready to physically shove someone away from the heroine but also to make her a grilled cheese and do her laundry. Maybe they’ve slept with a lot of other women but have really been pining after the heroine the entire time, ready to deliver her sexual awakening. They’re part traditional alpha hero, part cinnamon roll and I find that tension fascinating.

A few caveats here: I’m talking about m/f (male/female) and not queer romance and largely about more mainstream titles. (Think trade paperbacks with cute illustrated covers.) The idea first fully popped into my head while I was reading Better Hate Than Never by Chloe Liese, which features a very wealthy hero who runs a sustainable investment firm that the book is anxious to assure us is scrupulously ethical on all counts, but it’s something that I’ve been sensing for a while. It’s there in the heroes of both Ali Hazelwood titles I’ve read, muscle-bound mountains of men who are ready to threaten people on the heroine’s behalf but also deeply yearn to buy her fancy coffees. There’s shades of it in Will of Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams, a tattooed bad-boy bodyguard who’s incredibly gentle with shy florist Annie. And perhaps one of the most popular examples of it can be found in Tessa Bailey’s Bellinger Sisters series, whose heroes are in a very traditionally masculine profession but also have a real softness and emotional complexity to them. (Side note: I could probably also write an entire newsletter about how the evolution of the heroes of long-established writers like Bailey or Christina Lauren mirrors the larger evolution of the genre. The difference between Travis in Fix Her Up and Fox in Hook, Line, and Sinker, who are both very sexually experienced heroes but think about that history in such different ways, immediately comes to mind. But I digress!)

This is also something I’ve been thinking about a lot after my newsletter on the messy people romance from a few weeks ago. Romance has an element of fantasy to it. In some of its forms, it’s one of the most intense expressions of the female gaze and female desire out there. So what kind of fantasy are we chasing and what do these shifts in what we want out of our heroes say about today’s changing ideals of masculinity? I think there’s a real yearning for softness and vulnerability…but maybe not too much vulnerability. We still want our heroes to be confident and successful, men at the top of their field, and we want to find ways to remold some of the traditional signifiers of male power and success for our present moment. I can think of very few books I’ve read where the hero is a bit of a mess but I could name dozens where the heroine is one. (The closest I can think of are Levi in Georgie, All Along by Kate Clayborn and Josh in You, Again by Kate Goldbeck, both of whom have a lot to work through. Will in Chick Magnet by Emma Barry, who’s facing the reality of his failing business, might also qualify here.) In fact, I have a feeling we often don’t want our heroes to be messy in the same way as our heroines. Complicated relationship with his family? Sure. Complicated relationship with his career? Not so much. It’s a delicate negotiation between what’s desirable in a romantic lead and what makes for an interesting character arc, one that sometimes—but not always—can lead to a hero who’s a little too perfect.

Moments of transition are always complicated. There are romance novels from seven or eight years ago that I loved at the time but hesitate to recommend because certain plot elements may not have aged well, often because the hero does something he really shouldn’t and then has to grovel massively. I don’t want to return to that era but I do hope to read more contemporary romances that lean into a hero who’s uncertain. Who isn’t always at the top of his game. And who has some growing of his own to do.

I’m curious to see how the balance keeps on evolving, as our ideas about masculinity evolve, and where the genre goes next. Let me know what you think in the comments and what kinds of heroes you’re hoping to see in the genre.

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Currently reading: The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich, who is so brilliant/very possibly my pick for greatest living American writer? Reading this one has me mulling an Erdrich-centric reading project for 2024. I’d love to be a completionist of her work.

What’s bringing me joy lately:

• The Merrily We Roll Along revival on Broadway, which is almost unbearably tender and features three stunning lead performances from Jonathan Groff, Daniel Radcliffe, and Lindsay Mendez. This was perhaps the most locked-in and utterly captivated Broadway audience I’ve ever witnessed and the joy of live theater just gets me every time.

• Priscilla, Sofia Coppola’s latest exploration of girlhood featuring a wonderfully nuanced lead performance from Cailee Spaeny, perfectly staged shots, and costumes I coveted.

• I’ve been on the hunt for a new figure skating podcast since the demise of my much-loved Flutzes and Waxels and I’ve been very much enjoying The Runthrough, which is hosted by Adam Rippon and Ashley Wagner and has had me cackling out loud on multiple occasions. I’m also duty bound to inform you that the Canadian ice dance team of Laurence Fournier-Beaudry and Nikolaj Soerenson have a Top Gun-themed rhythm dance and it’s a great time.